How to Appear Famous

This is the latest video by myself and Craig. Enjoy.

I Went Through Thailand on a Horse with No Name

My cousin Dante has come to meet me in Thailand. We have heard that one night in Bangkok makes a hard man crumble. This is actually false, it takes 3. After waking up one morning with bits of fried grasshopper in my teeth (eaten the night before), we realized the city was too much, and we fled northwards for peace.

When deposited into a mountain/jungle paradise such as northern Thailand, what do you do? Get massages? Take a yoga course or a cooking course? No. You rent motorcycles and you terrorize the countryside. It rocked. We swam in waterfalls, climbed through caves, drove around elephants, jumped over fences, and obviously, sampled local beverages. Several things on my to-do list have now been crossed off. See below.

Ride an elephant. check.
See an elephant play harmonica and demostrate the doppler effect simultaneously. check.
See a monkey shoot baskets. check.
Eat fried bugs. check.
Ride motorcycle in a place that is not Manila. check.
Sing karaoke at an outdoor Thai festival. check.
Introduce Thailand to Halloween. Not checked off yet.
Hi-five the king of Thailand. Not check off yet.
One night left, hopefully i can make those last two happen.

How to Make a 5 Minute Chocolate Cake

Craig and I have made a new video. Check it out.



We are also busily working on another. Look for that soon.

A One Minute Tour of Awesometown

I have a new place in Manila. As you can probably guess, it is called Awesometown. Check out this one minute tour. You may also notice my new ability to make text dance in videos. I am about to enter a new era. Enjoy.

I Like to Ride my Bicycle, through Holland

The summer is over and I am now back in Manila. However, I have returned to a storm of shit that makes those frogs that Moses sent raining down on Egypt look like a spring shower. Fortunately, for you the reader, this blog is not the proper forum to go into that. Let’s talk about Holland.

After leaving Amsterdam, I worked my south via train, sleeping occasionally but mainly renting bicycles to see the countryside. This worked great until I got to Rotterdam, and then had my bicycle stolen, despite the fact that it had more chains around it than Mr. T. Obviously I wasn’t getting the deposit back, but I figured to keep myself from being charged even more, it was best to flee the country.

Here are 6 pics taken before I become a fugitive.

I sought sanctuary in Dusseldorf, Germany with my Dutch friend Harmen. Harmen has 3 amazing abilities: fast walking, fast talking, and fast drinking. Through this combination, the walking Dutchman convinced me to go back to Amsterdam for another weekend of debauchery. Which I did. We did nothing cultural, and instead remained highly focused on belligerence. Thus, I have no pictures (mercifully) from that final push through the bricked streets of Amsterdam.

Amstergoddam!

On my last night in hamburg i made the mistake of combining large quantities of beer and sauerkraut. Thus i needed some time off of toxins. Too bad i was soon on a train to Amsterdam, where the city slogan is "Amsterdam, where if you ask about it, it's probably legal."

I found a room in a hostel that i felt quite at home in since it had a population density similar to manila. only cleaner. after exploring for 30 minutes on foot, i was told by the police i needed to rent a bicycle or they were not going to be able to control the crowds of people laughing at me. renting a bike is easy, except for the 1.5 hour course you have to take on how to use all 5 locking mechanisms to keep the bike from being stolen. i felt i got a good price until a friend of mine purchased a stolen bike for only 20 euros. he was also cooler than me, since his a stolen item.

I met 2 vikings from Norway and an Australian, so we went off explore the city. similar to Hamburg, i needed to compare the Amsterdam Red Light District to Burgos St., Manila. here's how they competed.

Dirtier: winner is Amsterdam.
Cheaper: winner is Burgos
Most Eastern Europeans in glass window booths: winner is Amsterdam

We soon realized that the red light district was not really for us though, and we concentrated on our forte, which was pubs. once i again, i saw the sun rise.

the next day i went to some museums, the only problem is that after a night out in Amsterdam, even Van Gogh's freakiest shit seems pretty tame.

Hamburg Ala Gants

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First i went to Berlin. It was impressive, but the Stassi of the GDR confiscated my film, so there are no photos of the communistic splendor.

Then i went to Hamburg to visit the illustrious Mark Gants and his girlfriend Anja. A highlight was when we investigated the Reeperbahn. This was important research, as i needed to answer the questions that everyone back home in Manila wants to know.

Q: Can the Reeperbahn really be dirtier than Manila's red light district of Burgos St?
A: No

Q: Is it bigger than Burgos?
A: Yes.

So big in fact, that we partied all night there. Then at about 6 am, everyone starts shuffling like zombies downhill to the harbour, for the famous Sunday Fish Market. It is like a slow motion parade. And do the zombies want fish? No way. There is live music, coffee, pastries, and of course, more booze. Like good zombies, we partook of everything.

One of my other favorite activities was when the three of us canoed through the canals of Hamburg. It was like a high class version of an Ozark, Missouri float trip. I saw and did much more, but i have no more time to write. i must rest.

Because.....tomorrow i visit those bicycle riding, sub-sea-level dwelling, windmill building people known as the Dutch. Who live in Holland. Also called the Netherlands. Which has confused American school children for years.

Reykjavik has been Rocked

When i bought my ticket to Europe, i was surprised at how cheap it was. but then i realized it was because it was going to take me about 48 hours to fly there. Why? Well, partially because of a 12 hour layover in Reykjavik, Iceland! But as the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, go look for Vikings."

I had a few goals during this 12 hours.........

* Find a t-shirt that says, "Ringo Rocked Reykjavik."
* Drink grog with a Viking.
* Venture outside the airport in a snowstorm, and then when darkness falls, cut open the Ton-Ton beast that i am riding, and sleep inside it to stay warm.

I accomplished none of these. but i did leave visit the city, and did the following.

* Found t-shirt above.
* Visited a viking museum.
* Drank Viking beer.
* Walked around in the rain, and got cold.

on to Duetschland!