Fist Pumping Action

http://www.alpha-male.org/pics/fist_pump_guy.jpg



First things first. I'm on a mission over here in indonesia. It's a mission to return "fist pumping action" as a means of expressing excitement. This is a one handed fist pump. You all know it. American culture (not our politics) is generally quite reverred, especially that of hollywood, music, etc. So i'm using my american influence to bring this fist pumping action to southeast asia. I credit Aaron with bringing it to the american west. Aaron credits some guy named Glenn in chicago for spreading it to KC. Look for tons of Asians to be doing fist pumping action at the Olympics in 2010.

World cup action took place in Yogyakarta, Indonesia beginning at 1 am the other day. Jen and I woke a sleepy bekack driver (easy to do, i believe they live/sleep in their bike/carts 24-7) and paid him handsomely to to drive us to a street where a giant screen had been erected to watch the match. We met with chaos, since every scooter in a 50 mile radius was there. Any event this big in the states would have warrented about 30 policemen and a news crew. In indonesia this warrented zero policemen and a lot of people selling cigarrettes. The street was blocked, taksi's were honking, and people were in trees, on fences, etc to see the screen. When a team would score, people not only cheered but revved scooters to rediculous levels, causing the greenhouse levels around the earth to double (penalty kicks caused the melting of antartica).

AFter the cup, we slept an hour and then told a taksi driver "airport." He took this to mean "drive me to the airport like you are Chuck Yeager the NASA test pilot." Fortunately, i had recently used our bathroom/hole-in-ground so i didn't need to chage my shorts (for the record, we buy our own toilet paper, and then have to throw it away, ecuador-style).

Now we are in Bali, the capital of Australian Spring Break and home of the infamous Bali-Bombings (we saw the memorial today, over 100 dead). It is supposed to be a beautiful paradise, but in reality it blows, so we are leaving. If you enjoy being harrassed every 30 seconds fo buy t-shirts, sunglasses, mangoes, massages, etc then Bali is for you. If you enjoy playing frogger vs. Aussies who are riding scooters for the first time in their lives, Bali is for you. In defense of Bali, Jen and I did get awesome massages. However, i couldn't help from laughing, because for those of you from Columbia, MO, it was nothing like what you've heard of The Hong Kong Spa or the Foxy Sauna or any other such american massage parlors (no "happy endings" you sickos).

Now we are booked to leave here tomorrow morning to explore some tiny islands and stay in a bungalow. then we are on a boat trip for 3 days to eventually see Komodo dragons. afterwards, we will continue exploring the more remote islands of eastern indonesia. in other awesomeness, there will be no more atm's for the rest of our trip, and 1 Rupiah is worth about half a cent, so Jen and I will have to withdraw about 5 million Rupiah to carry around (literally). awesometown.

Look for my next post to be the ceremony where Indonesia renames the three Gili Islands as "Fist", "Pumping," and "Äction"

PS - check out Ayo's blog and Jen's (the Manila folder) both now linked to mine
- yes, that is probably the most awesome internet picture i've ever posted, that is the look and enthusiasm i strive for

My favorite Indosian Band

last night's entertainment went above and beyond. the greatest cover band in all of indonesia is called Rande-Vu (i think pronounced rendesvous). They will be performing at my birthday party in Manila if all my dreams come true.

We went to this turkish resto (restaurant) for drinks. there was absolutely nothing turkish about it. the entirely indonesian band consisted of drums, keyboard, base, guitar, and 3 very awesome singers (2 girls, 1 guy). compared to the people i see around, they were the hippest people in indonesia. they then elevated themselves in my mind to most-awesome-band-ever with their first cover: P-I-M-P by 50-Cent. I don't think they spoke much english, but i guarantee they knew every word to this classic. Now, i couldn't understand every word, but lets not split hairs here, i knew what they were getting at. What was the next song? How about some Missy Elliot? "My neck, my back, my !@#$, and my crack." A special bonus to this was the choreographed dance moves my all 3 singers. Just when i was on the phone to all my music agent friends in the states, they broke into "Milkshake" (it brings all the boys to the yard). This was by far better than the original. They then proceeded to go through about every US top-40 hip-hop song since 2002. Unbelievable.

They also took requests. I was hardpressed to think of one they hadn't done yet. Jen's favorite song of all time is "Holla Back Girl" by Gwen Stefani. I wrote this down and handed it to them. The girl didn't understand at first, but the guy quickly said (over the microphone), "oh ya. It my shit. It my shit." about 3 seconds of indonesian talk with the band followed, and they broke into a perfect rendition immediately. wow. I've never been so proud of American culture.

a few quick notes:
-- meghan G is awesome because she knew who sang "East-Bound and Down, Loaded Up and Truckin"
-- Jen is also documenting our travels at http://themanilafolders.blogspot.com/ check it out, especially since i make shit up sometimes.
-- pictures may have been advertised earlier. don't count on it. the europeans around me at the internet shop now exactly what the profanity i've been using means, and its all due to trying to put pics on the blog.

Giving the people what they want.

wow. today in indonesia was awesome. i have not seen popularity like this since filling oj's backpack with bacon and sending him through grizzly bear country.


so today jen and i went see the ancient buddhist temple of Borubudur (abondoned around 900 AD). As soon as we hit the bus station, people started shouting with joy at us. i don't know what the hell they were jibber-jabbering about, but i'm pretty sure it translated as "hey whities, get on my bus, i love you (your money)"

The temple was awesome, i'll try and get pics going if i can make picture uploading-in-indonesia happen (as a gambling man, i'll take the under on this). the best part was how much people loved us. Background: whitey tourism in indonesia has been slim since the Bali bombings. Thus, the Borubudur temple appears to be visited by 98% indonesian tourists, apparently most of whom are from small towns who don't get visitors often. About every 5 minutes we'd see kids inching towards us, when we would turn around and say hello, the parents would rejoice and then ask if they could take a picture of us with their kids. The kids would then use the opportunity to practice the english taught in grade school (similar to the spanish you all learned on sesame street: usually "hello," "thank you," or my favorite, "one, two, three!"

Then i tried to book a flight to elsewhere in indonesia. try this over the phone someday for awesomeness. i had to spell names for flight tickets exactly, it went like this

Ringo: My last name is Dingrando. D as in dog, i as in igloo, n as in nancy, g as in grill, etc.
Indonesian receptionist: so your last name is dolardo? B as in bali, i as in india, m as in malsdkljs, and q as in qlkjseotijh?
Ringo: what?????
Indonesian receptionist: sorry?????

i would have taken up heroin right there if there wasn't a death penalty for shit like that.

after returning to the bus station (several miles away from hotel) we couldn't find a taksi (taxi), so we hailed a bekat (cart on front of bike). this poor guy had a LONG way to take us, but he was up for it, and i was high-rollin'. this was like driving on I-25 in rush hour in an electric wheel chair, the wrong way. holy shit. 5 million scooters are passing us, but then to make up for it, our bekat biker doesn't heed stoplights, and he passes when he needs to, oncoming traffic be-damned. did we have helmets? seatbelts? ha. did Noah's neighbors have life jackets? we did have lots of people staring and waving at us. i figured it was a sort "we salute those who are about to die."

miraculously, after about an hour, we made it. i washed the sweat off at the hotel (several buckets of water dumped over the head). and then i feasted on spaghetti with beef, tuna, and squid on top (delicious actually!).

wooooooooooo

Houston, do you copy?

holy shit i'm in indonesia! The computer desk i'm typing on now is made out of bamboo. i'm shitting you negative.

Jen and I got to manila a while ago. Our principal's driver, Albert, picked us up. He was pretty awesome, but all the "yes sirs" and "no sirs" is a little wierd for those of us not used to having servents. He took us to the principal's house (on the 11th floor) to stay, which was pretty much like the jefferson's apt building on the East Side.

Things began to get awesome when we left for indonesia. While on the plane congratulating our selves at how adventurous and spontaneous we were, we discovered that we needed visas to enter indonesia. These cost money upon arrival. Cash money. We left all our shiny new philippino money in manila for our return. Collectively, we had about $3.47. This was not good. Fortunately, we were stopping to let more passengers on our plane in Singapore. Miraculously, the stewardesses agreed to let me and Jen sprint to an ATM to grab singapore monopoly money. I probably withdrew the amount for 18 indonesian visas, but at least they'd now let me in the country.

So then, whilst congratulating ourselves on the plane about how resourceful we were, i read that indonesians don't use toilet paper. They use the left hand and plenty of water. i hate to extend on this too far, but i've shit in the woods a lot. no problem. in ecuador, you had to throw the shitty toilet paper in the trash. not great, but i worked through it. I won't lie, i'm not ok with this indonesian practice. I'm working through it, as are all the other whities (i think i've seen 5 others).

so we hit the Jakarta airport at night, grab our bags, and walk outside. we were then quickly assualted by 290 cab drivers who knew "perfect hotel". this was a flat out lie. our cabbie drove us to 3 hotels. all full. he then pulled into the heart of the slums, got out of the car and left. i was pretty sure he was bargaining with a cousin to let us sleep on his floor. this did not happen. instead he turned us around and started heading BACK to the airport. this could not happen either, so we finally blurted out "Sheridan Bakarti." This is a 5-star establishment. 3 doormen helped us in with our backpacks. Our first night in the cheapest country in the world, and i dropped a small fortune on our hotel. Fine. we decided to drink our way through it at the hotel bar. at least the drinks have to be at normal indoneisan rates. right? false. Upon receiving my bill the next day, the 4 coronas we purchased completely pulled indonesia out of a trade defecit with China. the upside? toilet paper in our hotel room.

Now we're in Yogyakarta. I've never seen so many scooters in my life. Walking through the market is a workout. You may not believe this, but Jen and I don't blend in real well with the locals. here's the conversation i've had 428 times today.

Local:Hello! Where you from?
Ringo:united states.
Local: oh yes! yes! where you going?
Ringo: just to the __________ (insert your own location here, it doesn't matter)
Local: Oh no. the ____________ is closed. Do you like art?
Ringo: ummmm......
Local: I will take you to the Batik (local type of art) superstore. it is the best in the world. and today is the last chance to go there.

this was a little trying. tomorrow we go to see the ruins of an ancient Buddhist temple. should be more boss. Now i'm going to drink giant $1 beers and watch a local band known as "brown sugar"