How to Be Popular

For years I wondered how I could become more popular. I read self-help books, I built a crazy-go-nuts party deck, I even went to KC bars with Andre (he seemed very popular, even almost ran for Congress). But nothing worked. Then I figured out the secret, which I will share with you now.

I moved someplace awesome. Living in Colorado has caused my popularity to soar off the charts. In the one and a half years since I’ve lived here, I’ve received more visits than OJ’s mom. I’ve been visited by Ayo, Gants, OJ, OJ’s mom, both my brothers and one sister-in-law, Kevin, Casey, Pickles, Marika, John (of the Litten variety), Avanti, Lance (Delicious Pancakes), Nick, Knopps, and others who hate me now because I forgot to drop their name.

Now I make no false claims about their reasons for visiting. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if I lived in Detroit, you all would probably not even be reading this right now, because you would not even be my friend. Unless I lived in 8 mile. And was a rapper.

I’m certainly taking this popularity idea into account whilst searching for jobs overseas. For example, there’s a school on the paradise-like Caribbean Island of Curacao that wants me to teach Beginning Biology, Animal Husbandry, and Creationism to political prisoners. This would obviously be a less-than-ideal job, but think how much you all would like me if I lived there.

Presently, I’m so popular that in just 48 short the Northern Contingency of the All-Star Drinking Team will be arriving in Denver, and then heading to altitude for snowboarding and skiing mayhem. So look for an awesome post weekend blog posting, and then play the fun game of cross-checking the blogs of myself, Ayo, and Gants to see who’s making shit up.