The Hideous Vortex

You all are wrong. I’ve finally proved it. I have video proof to show you on the internet. So it must be true.

Just about every crack-smoker I’ve talked to thinks that water twirls clockwise down the drain in the northern hemisphere, and counter-clockwise in the southern hemisphere. This is a lie. People claim the coriolis force is responsible for the twirling direction. More lies. I blame poor education, rap music, and “museums” on the equator (like in Quito, Ecuador) for perpetuating these fallacies

Below is a video, filmed in my classroom, that dispels the myth. It also proves that I really am an educator of America’s youth, which I know many of you have doubted for years. Yes, there are lots of flaws in the video. It’s dark, starts in mid-sentence, and is about 4 minutes longer than my average attention span.

But it also amazing, because who of us actually know what our friends do at work? For example, OJ says he’s an engineer, but what does that mean? Does he actually draw up airplanes, or just wear a striped train-driver hat and surf the internet? Gants says he makes video games. I picture this as meaning he puts suction cups all over his body (like that Golem actor in Lord of the Rings) and does fighting moves while being filmed. And Aaron? Holy shit, after hearing the jibber-jabber he describes, I think he drops acid all day then plays slot machines.

So here’s the video. Let me ruin the ending for you. Water goes both ways, regardless of hemisphere. Just like OJ’s mom. (That never gets old.)

Ringo dispels the lies!