holy shit i'm in indonesia! The computer desk i'm typing on now is made out of bamboo. i'm shitting you negative.
Jen and I got to manila a while ago. Our principal's driver, Albert, picked us up. He was pretty awesome, but all the "yes sirs" and "no sirs" is a little wierd for those of us not used to having servents. He took us to the principal's house (on the 11th floor) to stay, which was pretty much like the jefferson's apt building on the East Side.
Things began to get awesome when we left for indonesia. While on the plane congratulating our selves at how adventurous and spontaneous we were, we discovered that we needed visas to enter indonesia. These cost money upon arrival. Cash money. We left all our shiny new philippino money in manila for our return. Collectively, we had about $3.47. This was not good. Fortunately, we were stopping to let more passengers on our plane in Singapore. Miraculously, the stewardesses agreed to let me and Jen sprint to an ATM to grab singapore monopoly money. I probably withdrew the amount for 18 indonesian visas, but at least they'd now let me in the country.
So then, whilst congratulating ourselves on the plane about how resourceful we were, i read that indonesians don't use toilet paper. They use the left hand and plenty of water. i hate to extend on this too far, but i've shit in the woods a lot. no problem. in ecuador, you had to throw the shitty toilet paper in the trash. not great, but i worked through it. I won't lie, i'm not ok with this indonesian practice. I'm working through it, as are all the other whities (i think i've seen 5 others).
so we hit the Jakarta airport at night, grab our bags, and walk outside. we were then quickly assualted by 290 cab drivers who knew "perfect hotel". this was a flat out lie. our cabbie drove us to 3 hotels. all full. he then pulled into the heart of the slums, got out of the car and left. i was pretty sure he was bargaining with a cousin to let us sleep on his floor. this did not happen. instead he turned us around and started heading BACK to the airport. this could not happen either, so we finally blurted out "Sheridan Bakarti." This is a 5-star establishment. 3 doormen helped us in with our backpacks. Our first night in the cheapest country in the world, and i dropped a small fortune on our hotel. Fine. we decided to drink our way through it at the hotel bar. at least the drinks have to be at normal indoneisan rates. right? false. Upon receiving my bill the next day, the 4 coronas we purchased completely pulled indonesia out of a trade defecit with China. the upside? toilet paper in our hotel room.
Now we're in Yogyakarta. I've never seen so many scooters in my life. Walking through the market is a workout. You may not believe this, but Jen and I don't blend in real well with the locals. here's the conversation i've had 428 times today.
Local:Hello! Where you from?
Ringo:united states.
Local: oh yes! yes! where you going?
Ringo: just to the __________ (insert your own location here, it doesn't matter)
Local: Oh no. the ____________ is closed. Do you like art?
Ringo: ummmm......
Local: I will take you to the Batik (local type of art) superstore. it is the best in the world. and today is the last chance to go there.
this was a little trying. tomorrow we go to see the ruins of an ancient Buddhist temple. should be more boss. Now i'm going to drink giant $1 beers and watch a local band known as "brown sugar"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Holy crap you're in another country! Your blogs...they feel so close to home! Haha. Congrats on the move, and my sympathies go out to you for the lack of toilet paper. Do you need a care package that has some TP and baby wipes? Hehe.
When in Ubud, Bali, be sure to avoid lodging that boasts famished geese wilting in mud in front of the inn. Those Sloan's Lake quackers would be your dinner, as well as the cause of your food poisoning for days to come, especially if you were to order "Fettucini Carbonara" which is none other than rice noodles topped by canned peas and goose-meat. The best reason to avoid such accomodations is because of the house-cleaners that you can see grabbing one of the geese by the neck, taking him to the back of the inn, and walking back all bloody to prepare your cup of cafe. Also, carry not any snacks on you as you meander through, or anywhere close to the monkey forest. Our distant relative thinks nothing of climbing up your leg, past your torso to your shoulder and sitting on your head while clawing at your face until you give up the pistachios in your purse. Just a few words of advice from a Bali survivor~
I recommend investing heavily in those nubbed latex gloves...otherwise we shall have to call you Mr. Stink Finger.
"Where's that finger been Kyle?!!"
Post a Comment